“Throwing subs” refers to the practice of hinting at an event/person that has upset you without specifically naming whatever it is that evoked such a negative reaction. This particularly new trend has become popular over social media the past couple of years, namely on Facebook and Twitter. Although sounding completely counter-intuitive I’m here to tell you that throwing subs serves a good purpose and this practice will not be going away any time soon. Before I go any further lets see an example of this practice from yours truly. Heres a status I wrote on Facebook not too long ago:
“Its one thing to go fake on people because you’re in a relationship (half the time its someone’s idiot gf/bf telling them they cant talk to certain people anymore) but if you go fake on someone just because you’re crushing really badly you have issues. Drink some water bitch.”
What got me so upset you may ask? I suspect that a friend of mine has feelings for a girl who I used to be close with. Now, instead of being forthright about his feelings he has begun avoiding me. Not only that, but since this girl is one to hit below the belt, its safe to assume she’s pitted us against each other ever since she noticed he had feelings for her. Shes not the type to remain in a relationship for too long, breaking up with her ex a week ago out of sheer boredom. She’ll play with his emotions up to the point that he cant bare keep his feelings secret anymore, she’ll reject him, he’ll sulk and avoid her, and she’ll approach him a month or two later, telling him she misses him, and a half hearted friendship begins. Luckily I’m stuck in the middle of all this so for the next couple of months expect me to be ignored, right up to the point where she makes him feel sick to his stomach and he’ll need a shoulder to cry on. How do I know this? Its been the same exact story with these two for the past four years.
Now these two individuals have obvious character flaws. The girl’s uncanny ability to push away men who have true feelings for her without even noticing and his disappearing act whenever he decides its time to pursue another unattainable target. If these two have such obvious issues, which wouldn’t be a huge deal to me if I hadn’t been forced into this love triangle in the first place, why do I feel like I can’t possibly speak to either one of them about how I feel? And if you’re thinking, screw them, just stop being friends with them, you’re wrong. As a matter of fact, you’re the problem. You’re the reason throwing subs is so popular.
Besides it being unwise to break of a relationship with someone who you’ve been so emotionally invested in (in other words, you don’t want vindictive people running around if they know your secrets), having such a minor dispute with someone should be no cause to end a friendship. This day and age, friendships are treated as disposable commodities, not lifelong bonds. Where our fathers worked to maintain open dialogue with friends and lovers in an effort to preserve the bonds they spent so much time building, our generation struggles to grasp the significance of the individuals who come into our lives. We frequently undervalue how much we matter to each other and how important maintaining our bonds is to our survival and our success. Due to the fragile nature of our friendships, remaining on amicable terms becomes more important than speaking your mind. In an age when the unfollow button has become the best friend of the easily offended, one wrong comment, however innocent, can mean losing someone who you can’t imagine living without.
I’m not saying anyone should hold their tongue entirely and let others dictate how they express themselves, but one has to accept the fact that more thought has to be put into what is said today. Political correctness doesn’t just apply to celebrities and public figures, but to the everyman who has to make the weighty decision of getting something off their chest while simultaneously losing a friend. Sometimes its worth it, holding your tongue can be ten times as strenuous as losing a friend. Now, however, one doesn’t have to take such a risk. Subs allow you to vent, quite specifically about anything that is troubling you without implicating anyone of any wrongdoing. Subs are usually specific enough that the person which the sub has been written about can identify that they’re the subject matter, but vague enough that one can claim such a conclusion is the result of the person’s paranoia. See, subs play on a person’s dirty conscience, which is why a lot of times individuals mistakenly think a sub is about them. However, rarely does a person confront someone about it face to face. It would seem almost ridiculous to make an ordeal about mere text written on social media that hasn’t been directed at anyone specifically. If our society’s hypersensitivity would disappear, and in its place came the opportunity for honest discourse without being disposed of, then subs would be a thing of the past. Until then, expect more passive aggressive language on your timeline.
- The Importance of Friendships (everydayhealth.com)
- Use Personal Technology to Feel Connected After a Move (apartmentguide.com)